Have you ever wondered what the root of your anger is?!
Psychology says that anger is a secondary emotion and that there’s always another emotion that’s the cause of our anger.
I’ve come to learn that, for me, the root of my anger is typically my emotional response to feeling hurt. And it can be a tough one to let go of; sometimes it takes a very long time.
I’ve let go of a lot of my hurt, and subsequently, my anger over the last few months but there’s one thing I just haven’t found the ability to get past. I’m working on it...diligently, and this post is to help others in the process.
I do my best to look at the bright side of things, stay positive, live mindfully, be zen and all that it encompasses, but it’s not easy. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have bad days, or days that I don’t resent things, people, or situations. I don’t think it’s fair to expect people not to. Those are the moments that we find growth in. Those are the challenges in life. We’re allowed those feelings, thoughts, and emotions. I resent people who try to tell me otherwise. Not every day is a good day, and that’s ok. All I can do is my best, and if my best that day is just managing to get out of bed and show up....then great. I’m sarcastic and snarky, but I’m there. I’m quiet and irritated, but I’m there. I’m feeling defeated and swearing at people in my head, but I’m there.
I’m hurt and I’m angry, but I’m trying.
I’m trying to push through it. I’m trying to understand how someone I thought was my friend could hurt me and still pretend to be my friend. I’m trying to understand how I can be a good person and have someone be so cruel and heartless in return. I’m trying to understand how I could be so blindsided by the unexpectedness of it, and the shock and surprise that I never expected this person to be capable of that......and get away with it.
I’m struggling with it, but I’m trying.
There will always be people trying to dim our light within and dull our shine.....with or without a reason for it. Although usually their reasons stem from something within them. It may have very little to do with you. However, it doesn’t excuse, invalidate, or mask the hurt it causes.
My anger is because I’m hurt. I’m in touch with it, I understand it, and now I can work with it.
Hurt stays with us for however long it needs to until we’ve processed it, and learned from it. Only then can we start to grow and heal from it. I’ve known I don’t want to carry it anymore, but sometimes it’s been a struggle to figure out how and when to let it go. It’s exhausting carrying it around, and relieving to have the burden of it lifted.
Do your best to be kind always. Avoid purposely hurting people if you can. Forgive when you’re able. Never stop being a good person no matter how many times you’ve been hurt. Treasure the good ones in your life. They’ll help you get through anything and everything. The world needs more good people in it....
It’s ok to be hurt. It’s ok to be angry. Its ok to allow yourself time to heal from it. It’s not ok to allow it to bring you down indefinitely. You’ve got too much light inside you for that.
And when you can..... Shine bright, show your light, and let them see your soul sparkle.
